


Esme's New Clothes

by Red Eyes Black Scythe (VisceraNight)



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV)
Genre: Banter, Crack, Gen, Humor, I Wrote Another Dumb Thing Again, This Is STUPID, fashion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 17:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21676171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Red%20Eyes%20Black%20Scythe
Summary: Esme asks Olaf's acting troupe for their opinion on her new outfit. They are not impressed.Fashion! Internet meme referencences! Being pedantic over the definition of words! What more could you want from a Series of Unfortuante Events crackfic?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Esme's New Clothes

**Author's Note:**

> Not cross-posted to FFN for reasons... mostly because I'm lazy and don't want to search for a cover picture or fill out the captcha to post it there.

~ Esme's New Clothes ~

"How do you like my new outfit?" Esme asked, as she modeled said outfit for Count Olaf's acting troupe.

"Where's the rest of it?" the hook-handed man asked.

"Yeah, you forgot to put on your pants," said the henchperson of indeterminate gender. After a brief pause, they belatedly added, "Or skirt."

Esme sighed dramatically. "It's more of a pussy out kind of look."

After a long pause during which the entire troupe just stared at Esme in her latest ridiculous outfit, the bald man piped up, "Doesn't that mean cowardly?"

Esme scowled at him but did not answer.

"_Pussy_ in that context is short for _pusillanimous_, a word which means _cowardly_," the henchperson of indeterminate gender explained. "And the phrase _pussy out_ in the context you're thinking of would mean to back down and take the coward's way out of something. But I'm pretty sure Esme meant _pussy_ as slang for _vulva_, in the context of referring to her outfit as intentionally revealing that part of her anatomy."

This was followed by a long silence in which it became apparent that the other henchpeople had all stopped listening partway through the long-winded explanation.

The silence was broken by one of the old women saying, "Anyway, that outfit looks stupid."

"Yeah," her sister agreed. "Go put some pants on!"

"None of you understand _fashion_," Esme growled, then turned and flounced out of the room to go change into an outfit that would be influenced by a different popular internet meme.

~end~


End file.
